I’ve dived with whales and dolphins throughout all the oceans,

Stingrays and Morays, I’ve had my share,

But the thing I love most, smells worse than fish from a boat,

It’s a seal, and it stole my Brain.

They come down to Jervis for three months a year,

If you’re lucky like I was, you’ll catch them unaware,

They’ll swim all around you for as long as you dare,

Or until your damn buddy, runs out of air!

When I jumped into the water, I heard the old man cry,

My dry suit is flooding, I think I will die!

He bounced out of the water, faster than I could blink,

And left me and Richard, alone in the drink.

So we girded our loins, and headed into the swell,

Alone in the blue depths and wondering where in the hell,

Are these elusive brown seals that were having a lark,

On the rocks just above us, like kids in a park.

Then from out of the depths, a dark shape did I spy,

And a seal did swoop me, making me cry,

Out in amazement, not in terror or fear,

For upon me was an experience that would break my Veneer.

He swam once around me then flitted away,

Only to return once more, as if to say,

I was checking you out, and you’re cool with my mates,

And so the rest of the pack all came down for a play.

One seal, then two seals, then in threes and in fours,

We were bombarded by nature in all its galore,

And I spent the next hour spinning my fins,

As the seals whizzed round me, with toothed cheeky grins.

I’ve never felt more in touch with the denizens of the sea,

As I did when those seals swirled around Richard and me,

I’ve dived with whales and dolphins throughout all the oceans,

But a seal, it stole my brain…