There are no Australian Pirates…did you know that?
I didn't…

I figured that there would have at least been one somewhere in our history but after buying all the pirate regalia I could find for our Australiana themed party aboard Oceantrek I did a quick internet search and found the only match possible when you type 'Australian Pirate' into a search engine.
Captain Feathersword…from the Wiggles…

So when I reached the top of the stairs onto Oceantrek's upper deck with possibly the campest looking pirate outfit in history, (especially on a portly gent such as myself), I figured I'd stand out like a sore thumb. But arrayed around the deck were a cornocopia of the most cringe worthy characters from Australian history and fiction. Lifeguards mingled with Banana's in Pajama's while Steve Irwin chased a Blowfly with a cockatoo. The Leyland Brothers watched on as Ned Kelly shot Les Patterson with a pair of water pistols and of course my buddy dressed as Arthur Dunger, although soon enough you would be hard pressed to tell the costume from the man.

And then there was me, the campest pirate ever to put to sea…Yarr!

In retrospect, the plastic coconut cup I had filled with Rum and coke was probably a bad idea…

The next morning I awoke to the sounds of a delicious breakfast being prepared by the crew and stumbled to the breakfast table to steel myself for another day of twenty-meter vis and perfect diving weather. My buddy looked over at me, 'Hey mate, you know you're still wearing your gloves don't you?' Mark remarked and I peered blearily at the black velvet and sequined gloves shrunk onto my hands from being dunked into the ocean several times last night.

'They must have shrunk during the synchronized swimming we all did at midnight!'
I looked at him strangely, memories tickling the back of my foggy mind as I struggled for a response that just wasn't coming.
"I'm going back to bed…'
That's how I became one of the only people on board who didn't do every single dive on the trip!

Despite missing one of the dives though I didn't feel like I missed out. Every dive brought us some of the best vis I've ever seen at Jervis Bay and the marine life did its best to put on some sort of show for every dive. I saw Port Jackson's and Crested Horn Sharks sitting amongst each other in a cave, Eagle Rays cavorting amongst giant schools of yellow tails, and fat old Wobbygongs slinking through kelp beds pursued by avid photographers swimming ardently after them. 

 
The varied and diverse life gave all of us plenty of critters to use as fodder for the mini photo competition we ran and amongst the brilliant images on display were a plethora of Eastern Blue Devilfish, Bullrays and Sea Dragons, although the prize went to Kathy and her gorgeous shot of a cuttlefish amongst a bed of sea tulips. (Personally, I thought my photo of a plastic shark should have won it, despite Simeon beating me too the punch with his 'picture' of a whale shark!) In all it was a great way to cap off the trip, I'll just have to try harder next year…or maybe just cheat! Muhahaha!

As we cruised back across the bay on the last day I gathered up all my dive gear and reflected on yet another great trip on Ocean Trek, the wonderful and attentive crew who never lost patience with us for not leaving the dive deck as quickly as we should of, the great food and weather and most important of all, the great company which keeps me coming back year after year. Now if only we could have had dolphins come and visit us, that would really make this the perfect trip…and then they did and for once, I was the only one with a camera!
 
Awesome!
 
Thanks to Dave and Jane for being the hosts with the most, thanks to Mick and Lynne as always along with their intrepid crew Andrew and Wazza and Hattie, the best Galley Wench on the Seven Seas. Thanks to my buddy Mark for all the entertainment and giving me a lift, and finally, thanks to all of you who came along, who continue to make these holidays a consistent pleasure for all of us.
 
See you in the Sea
 
Troy 'Feathersword' Deacon